Moseley was brought to it’s knees weeping after the release of a classified Birmingham University paper that claimed Moseley is in fact “a bit shit”. The Sociology department had been commissioned to write a report on Economic Growth within the West Midlands Conurbation. The study took place over the course of three years and examined key indicators in set areas within the West Midlands. Moseley was considered a pivotal area to examine.

The study found that Moseley is not the bustling interracial melting pot that we had all come to believe, but is in fact a largely white, largely middle class extension to Kings Heath where house prices are unrealistically high. The cause for this misunderstanding has been put down to the fact that residents of Moseley spend so much time wrapped up in the belief that they live in the best place in the world that they haven’t noticed what the rest of the world is up to.

Eye on Moseley constantly crusading to maintain the belief that Moseley is “special” decided to challenge the studies findings. We approached the authors and asked them to justify their ridiculous assertions. Dr J Bland of the Sociology Department agreed to meet us and explain his controversial standpoint. We presented him with a copy of the recent Birmingham Post article that claimed Moseley is in fact the new Notting Hill or Greenwich Village. Stifling a laugh he said “Well I suppose they are a bit similar, Notting Hill has a carnival that a million people a year go to and Moseley has a…… What’s that thing that’s a bit like a car boot sale in the summer? Oh yes the Moseley festival.” He added “Greenwich Village on the other hand that’s a different matter, that’s where Bob Dylan was discovered and spawned the birth of the beat generation, in many ways I see the rise of Ocean Colour Scene being very similar. Oh no, sorry I’m taking the piss.”

We believe this study can only be considered a complete travesty of education. Whilst other places may encourage growth of art and culture they are unlikely to generate the levels of passion that were recently seen when Weatherspoons were going to open a new pub. Oh yeah and did you know JRR Tolkien used to live here?

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