With a tearful farewell The Angeel Cosmetics Corporation was forced to close it’s doors this month for the final time. The Corporation, established in Moseley during the eighties, was the scourge of the bad hair of Moseley. A representative told us yesterday “We moved to Moseley originally because it was known as a haven of dodgy hair. It was our mission to bring quality hair products at a price that people could afford, because we believe the people of Moseley are worth it.”
Although an admirable intention the Corporation overlooked one important fact, namely that Kwik Save sold everything they did but cheaper. This oversight came about after employing a five year old to carry out market research within the village. “He never mentioned the fact he couldn’t count at the interview, in fact he didn’t seem to know much about hair care at all,” we were told.
“What next for the prestigious village centre location?” Was the question that some people have been asking since the shock closure. The obvious solution is to build another pub. Moseley residents have noticed that if you really need a pint when you come out of Kwik Save then you have to walk all the way over the road to O’Neil’s. This idea has been dismissed out of hand because the shop is only about six foot square, which is no size for a pub.
One proposal is a decent gun shop. The inability to buy serious weaponry in an area as crime ridden as Moseley is an obvious concern that should be addressed as soon as possible.