Local officials issued a stark warning to residents and estate agents alike in Moseley today that the housing market in Moseley was about to reach Critical Mass. St. John Highgrove of the Oxford Road Friendly Residents Co-Operative spoke exclusively to the Eye of the worrying times ahead: “In recent times, there has been a distressing trend towards the inflation of residential housing prices. Our brick scientists have been doing some testing and we have come to the inevitable conclusion that house prices in Moseley are about to burst. In the light of these findings, we have spoken to the authorities and they have promised to issue people with umbrellas at the next Moseley Farmers’ Market.” The tests carried out involved, “… taking a Pokemon sized replica of a house and filling it with air until it reached a pressure comparable with the estimated value of the house in two months time – believe us, it burst.”
We can only re-iterate the venerable Mr. Highgrove’s warning about the house prices and highly recommend the patented Eye On Moseley Gak Mak™, guaranteed to keep you dry, even when exposed to gallons of milky house spooge from the impending domicilic explosions. Available from the website for a very reasonable £15.99. Here’s mud in your Eye.