by admin | Aug 4, 2005 | Story
FUCK FCUK ! Local people retched up their bilious guts today, coughing greasy breakfast chunks through their sensitive nasal membranes, as partially digested beans and egg spattered on their feet. All at the prospect of watching that advert. A spokesman for the local...
by admin | Aug 4, 2005 | Simon Says
Well, I still hate every last one of you. Another month comes round and you expect me to just keep giving. It takes a lot, you know. My monthly column combines forthright expression with a previously unseen fluidity of language. The motivation doesn’t come from...
by admin | Aug 4, 2005 | Story
Local arsonists were up in arms when the local Texaco once again ran out of fuel due to recent petrol blockades. Twice in the space of a week Texaco had to close it’s doors after completely emptying it’s tanks. Many arsonists had to carry their plastic...
by admin | Aug 4, 2005 | Story
A recent news story in the Eye highlighted the increasing inability of street drinkers to perform their limited duties correctly. The article pointed out, using the awesome power of statistics, that Moseley’s favourite sentient piss posts were slurring less,...
by admin | Aug 4, 2005 | Story
Last months petrol crisis caused many of us a level of inconvenience but local trader Mr Nima saw it as an opportunity to put into action his donkey delivery service. Realising that without transport many of us would not be able to purchase his wide selection of...
