There are few things that drag this lazy site of its tired arse like an election. Obviously mock outrage at a supermarket comes close but at the end of the day elections are where the real business of local engagement/involvement take place.
So on May the (check date) we will once again go to the polls to select a champion. Someone virtuous enough to represent the collective views of Moseley and work tirelessly for good.
So who’ve we got this year? You can find out easily enough (we had to ask someone for the link) off the City Council web site, it’s a PDF, what can you do?
If you can’t be bothered with that, and let’s be fair we only really care about the people who plan on getting our vote, then here is our quick summation of the candidates.
He’s incumbent and as such a known quantity. You know what you’re getting with Martin so there isn’t a lot to say. He romped home to victory, in 2004, with bold claims of a new railway for Moseley. Eight years later and this is still as ridiculous a proposition as it was in 2004. Though it isn’t fair to judge someone on what they promised when they were giddy with new found power, what has he done for us?
This man is hustings gold dust. Nobody knows Alan until they’ve seen him live. Alan’s delivery is purely focussed on securing appropriate rights for androids. There aren’t any Androids in Moseley (a bold claim) so his chances are limited.
We have no idea who he is. The Conservatives gave up on Moseley once they entered into a Faustian pact with the Lib Dems. The collapse of the Lib Dems as any force in politics might mean they are taking it seriously this year but who knows? We liked it when they had Maura Judges standing for them. At least when ever anyone mentioned her name we could say “does she?” (we interpreted her surname as a verb rather than a proper noun, it was funny). It does look like the days of quality candidates like Bangkok Ken are behind us.
You forgot to mention that the gavel-wielding David Isgrove will be chairing the hustings, which may help elevate the level of proceedings to that of a circus.
One is also invited to post questions in advance. I’ve considered asking a multiple choice question about the best use of public finances: if the council had £7M underspend / clawback, would the best use be on a) maintaining youth services, b) fulfilling campaign promises c) vanity projects and self promotion? But it does seem futile, so I haven’t done anything yet.
I didn’t ask. Ennui and the need for a toilet got to me in the end. Sorry to have disappointed.