{"id":991,"date":"2013-09-05T10:00:42","date_gmt":"2013-09-05T09:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/?p=991"},"modified":"2013-09-05T10:16:22","modified_gmt":"2013-09-05T09:16:22","slug":"theatrical-excess","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/?p=991","title":{"rendered":"Queensbridge: Theatre of Death"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"queensbridge\"<\/a>As a new school year starts many of Birmingham’s younger residents will be setting off for another year of the ritual humiliation and emotional scarring that is secondary education in the UK today. This isn’t the case in Moseley. Pupils at Queensbridge School are in for the most exciting year of their short lives.<\/p>\n

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Over the Summer we have seen an elaborate programme of earthworks taking place in front of Queensbridge School and we can now exclusively reveal why.<\/p>\n

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The Headteacher told us yesterday, “At Queensbridge School we were acutely aware that 2014 will mark the 50th anniversary of the allied landings in Normandy. For some time we’ve been thinking about how Birmingham’s premier academy of visual and performing arts would commemorate the sacrifice made in our name, all those years ago. Then it came to me. We have the talent, we’ve got the resources, we’re going to re-enact every scene from Saving Private Ryan in front of the main school building. We’ve shipped in tons of mud and carefully sculpted an accurate representation of Omaha Beach on the front lawn.<\/p>\n

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I see Year 9 taking fortified positions on the school roof and raining death down on elite volunteer force from Year 10. Year 8 will largely be responsible for mining the car park and sandwiches.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You see, you wouldn’t get this at Moseley School, the twats, they have no sense of theatre.”<\/p>\n

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It appears this bold move has yet to be run past the Local Education Authority, \u00a0Birmingham’s Cabinet Member for Children, Young People and Families told us this morning, “You’re shitting me? That’s mental, \u00a0where’ve they got the money from, we’re broke you know? But, of course, the new freedoms conferred on schools, through academy status were designed to foster exactly this sort of innovation.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Auditions will be held next week when the search will begin for a boy with a large forehead to play the role of Tom Hanks<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a new school year starts many of Birmingham’s younger residents will be setting off for another year of the ritual humiliation and emotional scarring that is secondary education in the UK today. This isn’t the case in Moseley. Pupils at Queensbridge School are in for the most exciting year of their short lives.   […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":990,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[165],"class_list":["post-991","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story","tag-queensbridge-school"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/queensbridge.jpg?fit=400%2C213&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2okCM-fZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=991"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1001,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/991\/revisions\/1001"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=991"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=991"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=991"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}