{"id":93,"date":"2005-08-04T19:17:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:17:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/trite101.wordpress.com\/2005\/08\/04\/simon-says-12\/"},"modified":"2005-08-04T19:17:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:17:00","slug":"simon-says-12","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/?p=93","title":{"rendered":"Simon Say&#8217;s"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/03\/simon.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right;cursor:pointer;margin:0 0 10px 10px;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/03\/simon.jpg?w=1080\" border=\"0\" alt=\"\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nEvolution is an imperative in both process and organism. Without evolution there is stasis, and stasis leads only to entropy. Consequently I am having to find ways of expanding the limited appeal of this column far beyond it&#8217;s natural lifespan. I mean, it&#8217;s Moseley isn&#8217;t it?<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s only a testament to the power of drink, drugs , borderline psychosis and equal measures of cake and meat (albeit on separate plates) that I&#8217;ve managed to eke it out this far. I mean, did you see my self-portrait?<br \/>\nSo how am I going to keep it up? I mean, I went skiing but after a couple of days on the piste it all gets a bit\u2026proleterian, je ne sais pas?<\/p>\n<p>Easy. I am going to subject myself to the wooly-jumpered whims of you assorted tramps, mentalists and insufferable bores.If you want fun from me you can bloody well contribute. If anyone out there cares to send me a big bag of heroin\/crack, I will consume said heroin\/crack and (presumably) write a jolly entertaining piece about my adventures with said drug. With photos. So if anyone wants to send me :<\/p>\n<p class=\"eyebody\" align=\"center\">Hookers                     &lt;                    An old fashioned mangle ( with box of puppies )<br \/>\nr&gt;                    Drink<br \/>\nA train set<br \/>\nPorn<br \/>\nDresses<br \/>\nA barrel full of toddlers (and a hill )<\/p>\n<p class=\"eyebody\">I will do my best to wring some sort of quality material from it. I&#8217;m not paying to make my life more fun, just so you lot can have the same fun second time around, like a gaggle of naked, blinking gannets, thrusting the urgent beaks of your voyeuristic nature down the soft gullet of my of my generosity.<\/p>\n<p class=\"eyebody\">\nSo there you go. Ultimatum time. Give me stuff or I&#8217;ll be dull. And as those who know me will attest, I can be excruciatingly dull.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Evolution is an imperative in both process and organism. Without evolution there is stasis, and stasis leads only to entropy. Consequently I am having to find ways of expanding the limited appeal of this column far beyond it&#8217;s natural lifespan. I mean, it&#8217;s Moseley isn&#8217;t it? It&#8217;s only a testament to the power of drink, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-93","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-simon-says"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2okCM-1v","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=93"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/93\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=93"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=93"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=93"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}