{"id":86,"date":"2005-08-04T19:12:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/trite101.wordpress.com\/2005\/08\/04\/runaway\/"},"modified":"2005-08-04T19:12:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:12:00","slug":"runaway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/?p=86","title":{"rendered":"Runaway"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nA Moseley wide manhunt began last week after, local celebrity and children’s favourite, Noddy went missing from Kwik Save. The little bloke was last seen tooling it down Alcester Road forcing pedestrians and beggars to run for their lives.<\/p>\n

A traumatised pensioner told us “He was like a maniac, he just laughed and laughed and laughed. I’m sure he was going for my ankles. I blame the kids, I’m not sure why but they must have something to do with it.” This glib assessment turned out to be shockingly accurate. Noddy’s recently appointed social worker told us “Noddy has suffered years of mental abuse at the hands of some of Moseley’s younger residents. This has resulted in him slipping into a fantasy world where he believes he lives in a so-called “Toyland” with his life partner “Big Ears”. This wanton destruction is effectively a deadly cry for help.”<\/p>\n

Police successfully managed to corner Noddy’s little yellow car at the top of King Edward Road where his lack of local knowledge had forced him to a stop. Now returned to his proper place in Kwik Save he is under constant supervision from the manager who told us yesterday “That’s one cartoon character I won’t be letting out of my sight in a hurry. It’s funny, it’s only when something’s gone that you realise it’s true worth.” Yes quite.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Moseley wide manhunt began last week after, local celebrity and children’s favourite, Noddy went missing from Kwik Save. The little bloke was last seen tooling it down Alcester Road forcing pedestrians and beggars to run for their lives. A traumatised pensioner told us “He was like a maniac, he just laughed and laughed and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[9,57],"class_list":["post-86","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story","tag-alcester-road","tag-kwik-save"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s2okCM-runaway","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=86"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/86\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=86"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=86"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=86"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}