{"id":142,"date":"2005-08-04T19:53:00","date_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/trite101.wordpress.com\/2005\/08\/04\/intelligent-life-outside-moseley-shocker\/"},"modified":"2005-08-04T19:53:00","modified_gmt":"2005-08-04T19:53:00","slug":"intelligent-life-outside-moseley-shocker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/?p=142","title":{"rendered":"Intelligent Life “Outside Moseley” Shocker!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nProminent xenobiologist, Professor Michael Hawes, shocked Moseley today with the announcement that there could indeed by intelligent life outside Moseley. In what could be a career-threatening move, Professor Howes has published a paper in the Moseley Journal of Xenobiology and Other Strangeness which speculates that there is sentient life as near as Kings Heath and Acocks Green.<\/p>\n

The theory comes in light of new evidence suggesting that the 50 bus actually travels in a more linear fashion than was first thought. For years, experts have argued over the seemingly circular orbit of this horse road bound phenomenon, with the current paradigm suggesting a vortex in the nether region of the house of death that automatically returns the 50 bus whence it came, albeit with a different driver and as often as not, completely different passengers on board. A similar process takes place at the Dance Centre which isn\u2019t actually in Moseley. This school of thought, known as \u201cMullaneyism\u201d is popular with the scientific community.<\/p>\n

In his paper, he suggests that the 50 bus actually goes to what he calls \u201ca terminus\u201d located somewhere near a place he calls \u201cDruids Heath\u201d. It then turns around and comes once again through Moseley (having passed through a number of other unspeakable places) before arriving at another of these so called \u201cterminus\u201d places. The unbelievable explanation he has for the change of passengers on board the 50 bus (get this) is that, they are \u201c\u2026people, not unlike us, from a ward not known to science\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Professor Howes, best known for his discovery of sapient yoghurt, gave an exclusive sound bite to the Eye, \u201cIt would appear that there are species out there, not unlike our own, who talk, shop and go to the pub just like us. This can only lead to one conclusion\u2026 intelligent life outside of Moseley!\u201d<\/p>\n

Would you credit it it? The Eye says, \u201cSounds like you\u2019ve been down the pub a bit too much yourself, Prof.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prominent xenobiologist, Professor Michael Hawes, shocked Moseley today with the announcement that there could indeed by intelligent life outside Moseley. In what could be a career-threatening move, Professor Howes has published a paper in the Moseley Journal of Xenobiology and Other Strangeness which speculates that there is sentient life as near as Kings Heath and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[8,71,89],"class_list":["post-142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story","tag-50-bus","tag-moseley-dance-centre","tag-mullaney"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2okCM-2i","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/142\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eyeonmoseley.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}