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Scorched Earth

When 8 Till Late burnt to the ground many thought it was the result of a typically ham-fisted insurance job or at the very least a strange fridge fire. When Fire Investigation Officers began to sort through the remnants of poor quality porn that littered the crime scene they were chilled to discover a slightly [...]

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There Is a God

Today Moseley was filled with boggle eyed wonderment as people for the first time experienced bread that wasn’t stale by the time you get to Woodbridge Road and milk that doesn’t have the lingering odour of a sick child. This earth shattering event may well spell doom for Kwik Save but as the manager told [...]

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Prisoners Of Fate

It is now sixty four days since a party of Accountants were nailed into the Lime and Chilli House and Police are becoming increasingly concerned for their well being. This cruel act was apparently perpetrated by a large gang of kids in yet another example of Big Brother related crime. The Accountants were apparently enjoying [...]

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Hang ‘em High

With crime rocketing out of control in Moseley it appears that a drastic solution is called for. Some may consider public hanging is a little too drastic but it is undeniable that the rotting corpse of a young criminal suspended thirty feet above Moseley High Street is likely to have a strong deterrant effect. This [...]

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A Bridge Too Far

The sort of inane curiosity that seems to be the curse of tiny suburban communities has once again consumed Moseley. Everywhere you go all you can hear is the same hushed question repeatedly being asked of all and sundry, “What are all those concrete blocks doing on Woodbridge Road?” they say. This seemingly innocuous addition [...]

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