The Tesco Cometh

10 06 2012

It takes quite a lot to get Moseley residents out of bed first thing on a Sunday morning (this isn’t strictly true) but one thing that was always going to get people out on the streets was work beginning on our new Tesco. First thing this morning the developers moved in and they got themselves a proper Moseley greeting. Eventually the Police had to be called in to stop the bargain hunters getting out of hand.

 

A local resident managed to gulp back her excitement to tell us “There  hasn’t been a decent apple in Moseley since 1998 and I’m going to be the first through the door when it opens.” Another somewhat rudely interrupted to ask “Is it true that  you can buy meat from all the animals in Tesco?” We don’t know but we’re keen to find out.

One of the bemused contractors told us “this is weird, don’t you people have other shops?”, little does he know.

An impassioned speech by the  head developer set out a vision of Moseley where  people will be able to shop unconstrained by the  random stock purchasing of other supermarket chains. This was greeted by what can only be described as a rousing “Hurrah” from the assembled crowd.

Though it must be said that this isn’t entirely a good news story, this is only the beginning of development which could take as long as year.

Be patient people of Moseley, be patient. The good times are on their way.

 





Loneliness

2 03 2009

meteorMoseley was rocked recently by the news that property developer, Simon Marsh has decided to drop his planning application for the Meteor Ford site.

The contentious plan challenged the normally easy going residents and brought about the very real threat of insurrection. Mr Marsh, it seems, has rethought his plans and is instead considering building a Fortress of Solitude on the corner of Wake Green Road and Oxford Road.

In a statement, made through his solicitors he said “Mr Marsh is deeply disappointed that humanity has rejected the helping hand of progress. He feels that he must consider his next move. He intends to do this from a fabulous palace constructed of ice and glass. He will construct this entirely with the power of his own mind. The design will be largely sympathetic to the surrounding conservation area.”

Such a development is obvious concern to neighbouring residents and businesses but it appears there is little that they can do to challenge the plans.

Someone with dubious planning qualifications told us “Most people don’t realise that on seeing the version of  Superman featuring Christopher Reeve a substantial revision of planning law was sought. The Callaghan government passed the Planning Amendment Act 1978 that specifically exempts the development of any  ”Fortress of Solitude” from Local Authority planning control.  On the plus side we would anticipate little impact on traffic as a Fortress of Solitude inherently has few visitors.”

With the forthcoming development of the Scientologists “Temple of Evil” in Moseley, we’re shaping up for a battle that could challenge mans very right to exist on this planet.