Moseley was once again rocked to it’s very core by the news that a new fully functioning Lap Dancing club was about to open. The news came as a bolt from the blue to normally conservative Moseley and provoked angry mutterings and hissy fits all round. The club was originally meant to be called “StingFellahs” but after an injunction was granted to ageing pervert Peter Stringfellow a new more “revealing” name was needed. Unable to think of a better one the management had to settle for the somewhat bland “Sensations”.
The star studded opening of Sensations was reported to have attracted celebrities from as far away as Small Heath and Northfield. Though not strictly in Moseley it has caused a degree of indignation amongst Moseley’s clergy. A hastily convened committee somewhat improbably called “Christians Undermine Naked Tits” has been set the task of looking into this new menace and finding an uncompromising solution. A local vicar told us “In an attempt to assess the moral danger of this place I have received a number of used tenners from our parishioners.” His flock has commended the fearless reverend saying “It’s great what he’s doing, I don’t know about you but the prospect of spending a night watching young nubile women gyrating hypnotically to music whilst you have to shove money in their pants is not my idea of fun.” The initial visit proved to be inconclusive and after securing further funds he will return tonight and probably tomorrow.
Although we doubt such a club will be successful on the edge of Balsall Heath we do think it’s indicative of the Moseley spirit that there is at last a place where women can be treated with respect and earn a few bob.