Sports fans of Moseley were recoiling in horror today from the news that Chantry Road tennis club, our purest bastion of local sporting achievement, is at the centre of a performance enhancing drug row!
This unsportsman-like turn of events began last week, when reports came in to the Eye offices that a cannabis plant (pictured)was being flagrantly grown in the front gardens of the clubhouse.
An Eye reporter agreed to go undercover in the shady world of the tennis club, to find out what’s really going on, and nothing has been heard from him in over a week. Before he disappeared he managed to convey a brief report from a meeting of the club’s elders.
This meeting was called to halt the slide of the club’s fortunes,and options being considered by the elders,other than drugs, were satanism, underground training camps for child tennis stars and solid-light holograms.
A spokesman from the club, wearing a beanie hat and “Dreddy” hooded top was seen coming out of hip new hemp store “Mulatto’s Leaf” and said, in a rather bleary-eyed and confused fashion,”Uhh…I’m not really too sure what you mean. Um…could you maybe come back at about mid-day or so? That’s a much better time for me.”
