With a dramatic fanfare of apathy the new Lidl Superstore opened it’s doors this month. With it’s dramatic selection of european food it expects to dominate the diets of all Balsall Heath and Moseley residents within the next three months.
But it’s not all rosey in this Mecca of suburban food shopping. Many local residents have left the store in varying states of confusion. One less than happy shopper told us “It’s shit, all the labels are foreign. I went to get some disinfectant and I ended up with a load of profiteroles. I can’t clean my floor with these. They’re quite nice though.”
There has also been a lot of concern about the environmental damage the store has created. When seriously prompted a local trader told us “That used to be a lovely patch of waste ground. In the summer stray dogs used to muck about there, it was beautiful”, wiping a tear from his eye he added “It was also handy for dumping rubbish on , I have to pay to have it taken away now.”
In the interests of journalism we sent one of our reporters to Lidl to find out what the score is and to get something for dinner. The results were less than satisfactory. In an attempt to fit into the local area Lidl have adopted the Kwik Save policy of two tills open at one time. Very handy if you’re paying the staffs wages, not to handy if you need to get home in time for Neighbours. Then to cap it all (you’re not going to believe this) they don’t take cheques. Our reporter eventually left the store despondent and hungry.