One of Moseley’s more surreal episodes came to fruition yesterday with the final implementation of the Moseley Alcohol Free Gnome. Although the legislation was not exactly what had originally been intended it will certainly make a contribution to the national debate on substance misuse.
It had been envisaged that the centre of Moseley would be declared a place of abstention and probity but due to a minor disaster in the legislative process a completely different bye-law was passed. A minor official in the Councils law department told us “Well I suppose some of it is my fault. It was my birthday you see and you know how it is, a few pills, a bit of coke and needless to say Monday morning I wasn’t exactly at the top of my game. To be honest though you’d have thought someone would have noticed before they passed the bloody thing.”
The local police told us “We have to say that we are disappointed with the way that the legislation has developed but I’ve had a word with the lads and we’ve decided that we’re going to pull together and make sure the little fellah doesn’t touch a drop.”
As yet it is not unknown whether the legislation purely applies to Gnomes. Under a broader interpretation it may also apply to both dwarves and leprechauns. This is for the courts to decide.
