Like Jesus rising from the dead, the Moseley Implementation Group returned to the brink of public life yesterday. As is only fitting with such an important and influential group they have greeted the dawning of the new millenium with a new name, the Moseley Action Group.
The group consisting of Pam Rutter, John Williams, Fiona Adams and others meet with the express intention of making Moseley a more exciting and generally fun place to live. Though some residents have expressed concern at the unelected nature of this esteemed group, the majority of us believe that the fact that they are largely unknown and totally unaccountable means they cannot be corrupted by responsibility to voters.
The group uses their growing network of informants to gauge the word on the “street.” This is then relayed to the people who matter within the Council and the Police. This information is only used for acts of good and not evil. So if you have got a planning application awaiting consent, we do not advise approaching the group with a bottle of whiskey or a home made casserole.
In a move of increasing Glasnost the group have moved their regular meetings to the sumptuous surroundings of the Cross Cafe Bar. This allows them the freedom to deal with the pressing concerns of public life whilst sampling an international selection of beers and wines from Belgium.
Though it’s not all work, work, work. One insider who cannot be named told us “People have got the wrong idea about us. They think we’re a secret group who are trying to take control of the area. They’ll realise how much they need us when we convert Chantry Road into a massive water slide.”
The secret group are believed to be worried about their public perception. The stories of bizarre initiation ceremonies are wholly exaggerated and no members have ever been responsible for the disappearance of ducks from Moseley Park.
Eye on Moseley would like to wish them the best of luck with their new incarnation. The concept of local democracy is generally flawed, after all if it was left to local residents to choose their representatives, what kind of Muppets would we elect?