Pub phobia madness has struck Moseley again as the council raised concerns over a proposed purveyor of coffee and Kiddieporn. In spite of the fact that the proposals for an unnamed entrepreneur involve force feeding people carrot juice whilst they pay to be online, the council fears that this is a cunning new back door for a bar or pub to be opened in Moseley. Former backdoor men have included the man from Wetherspoons, who managed to force through alterations in planning permission from restaurant to pub status.

We at the Eye feel that this is a veiled attempt by the council to achieve two goals. 1) stop the good people of Moseley from reading Eye On Moseley. 2) To deny Willy internet access.

Sources close to the council confirmed our fears. “Man was Bryan Knott pissed when you made him into an asteroid!”, one council worker said. Another revealed a top secret memo had been put out to stop village drinkers from cluttering up cyberspace in the same way that they clutter up the green. The Eye says, “We won’t be denied by backdoor men or councillor’s, let us in.”

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