Millions of Hippies are expected to descend on Moseley park this week in what is described as “The Greatest Hippy Gathering on Earth”. Saddhu Ric Capon has personally been overseeing the development of what can only be called “a fucking huge campsite” on the banks of the ley of Mose (the lake that is). In celebration of the first hippy landings in Moseley in the early 1600’s, Kumbh Moseley will be marked by a gaggle of hippies throwing themselves into the ley of Mose and by sheer force of will (and not a little earth magic) will somehow remain unwashed. Scientists remain baffled by this process.

Hippy leaders are currently embroiled in a political struggle to see who can get the campsites closest to the lake for them and their followers. In a distinctly poor showing of the “Love and Peace man” ideals that are normally associated with dole scroungers, fights broke out after the hastily arranged Special Brew meeting went horribly wrong. A radical breakaway faction known only as “The radical breakaway faction” (RBF) became restless after they started seeing things induced by the drinking of too many of the local special, “The Fighting Cocktail” (an unique blend of Special Brew and Meths expertly mixed for your enjoyment and pleasure). Their erstwhile leader and otherwise pierced nutter, “Toilet” Mike is alleged to have started humping “Rizla”, the dog of “Big Issue” James. The ensuing fight led to the hospitalisation of a number of hippies and saddhu, conveniently allowing the remaining Judases to section the campsites amongst themselves. Whilst “Toilet” Mike wasn’t available for comment, an official spokesgimp for the RBF said, “Those cocktails give you mighty beer goggles.”

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