Last months petrol crisis caused many of us a level of inconvenience but local trader Mr Nima saw it as an opportunity to put into action his donkey delivery service. Realising that without transport many of us would not be able to purchase his wide selection of cheese he set about making emergency deliveries with his new donkey.
The plan caused an outcry amongst local animal rights protesters when through a strange oversight the excessive weight of cheese projected the poor animal straight up. Moseley village was brought to a standstill whilst emergency services raced against the clock to bring the donkey back to the ground where it would feel considerably more comfortable. Using the new West Midlands Fire Brigade patented donkey harness the creature was removed from the cart and set free. The Fire Brigade told us “We always wondered what the hell we were going to do with a donkey harness. It seemed a bargain in the catalogue but it’s sat in the back of the truck for about a year now.”
Mr Nima expressed regret for any suffering caused and told us “I don’t know what happened, I was putting the last slab of cheese on the back and then WHOOSH it shot up in the air like an equine rocket. It was quite funny actually, it’s legs kept running but it couldn’t go anywhere. I called Mrs Nima out and we had a bit of a laugh but then we realised it was serious. I don’t think I’ll be using a donkey again.”
Readers will be pleased to know that Mr Nima has now released the donkey to make a new life for itself in Handsworth.