02The perennial problem of mobile phone coverage of Moseley once again seems to be a topic of debate. Everyone remembers the horrific deaths in Moseley Park that were directly attributed to lack of phone coverage.

Recent mutterings seem to indicate that those lucky few with new fangled InternetPhones are less than happy with their providers.

The unhappy truth is that this less than perfect service is probably more down to design than market failure. We can exclusively reveal that restricted multi-media access is now official Moseley policy. 

In a statement read out from afar, some sort of Moseley official told us “Quite frankly it is these so called early adopting creative individuals that are at the very route of everything that is wrong with Moseley. Some years ago they set up here with their vibrant ideas  and started driving our house prices through the roof.”

“We’ve had enough, we say no to posturing nonces with their touch screen technology and intuitive Internet access. We want to get back to traditional values like objecting to planning applications on principle and empty shops.”

It is thought that through organised luddism Moseley could in effect return to 1974. Though we can only pray that this isn’t seen as some sort of an excuse for Turkey to have another pop at the Greeks. That would be a bad thing.

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