Inflation has struck Moseley in the last week and left the High Street looking like a scene from 1920’s Germany. The first indications that the Moseley fiscal policy is out of control were noticed when the new edition of “B13 Magazine” hit the newsagents. The previously good value publication has increased it’s cover price from 30p to a massive 50p showing an increase in real terms of 20p. This move was apparently prompted by the worrying world paper shortage. Sources reporting to our financial desk have made us aware that this is not the complete story. The sudden price rises seen across Moseley are in fact the implementation of a council sponsored gentrification policy for Moseley. In a leaked document prepared for the council we discovered the council wish to “keep Moseley for local people but at the same time get a better class of local people.”

Further indications can be seen in the newly proposed bye law for banning drinking on the village green :-

Article 7.A.1 The consumption of alcohol within the area defined as the “Village Green” shall be prohibited, subject to penalty, unless parties are in possession of a cheeky Chianti or a soft, fruity Chardonnay

These measures will hopefully deter all but the most discerning street drinkers.

This further information does prompt the question of where the extra money is going once it leaves our pockets. An insider from the council told us “They have formed a regional development agency for the Balsall Heath area called Hookers & Coke Ltd” Apparently all money gained by this agency will be used to rehouse those who can no longer afford to live in Moseley.

Share This