As summer approaches so to does the mating season for the Zen. The holistic health shops that litter the streets of Moseley must mate once a year in order to propogate their species. This is a particularly worrying peice of news for all the other shops that are in between Alcester Road and Woodbridge Road.

The manager of Kwik Save told us “Yeah we saw this happen in Bristol in 1982, one of our stores got crushed under a bloated lust filled health food shop it wasn’t pretty. My area manager is coming down to sort it out.”Many solutions have been proposed though the clear favourite is a defensive line of fun pubs that will cut across from the railway line to the top of Chantry Road.

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