As any Moseley resident knows the two subjects that get everyone talking are old people and traffic calming measures. A recently leaked briefing from the Highways Department of Birmingham City Council shows how Moseley will shortly be at the forefront of both problems.

Moseley, long known for it’s willingness to carry out any crazy plan is to be the testbed for a new system of traffic calming. The proposal was thought up when a local civil engineer noticed how willing Moseley residents were to attach the names of thier recently deceased loved ones to things like trees and benches. The idea is to take the recently dead and use them in the construction of speed bumps. This has the dual function of slowing down traffic and leaving a very real testament to the community these people gave so much for.

In a brutally frank outburst a representative of the Highways Department told us “You’re hardly going to go tooling it down a road where your mate’s gran is buried, are you?”

The move has been widely criticised by groups that represent the dead and anyone who knows anything about setting things on firm foundations.

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