Anonymous labourers are digging themselves a hole that they will be very lucky to get out of in Moseley Park. These foolish workmen are at work on an
as yet unidentified project in a spooky, dis-used corner of the Park. What they don’t know yet is that the area remains unused and cordoned off because it is an ancient Vegan burial ground, used by members of the Sage Co-operative and blessed by the shamen at Zen.

Disturbing the bones of these ancient founders of Moseley is likely to bring a great cloud over Moseley and the dead will possibly rise and shamble round,maybe buying new clothes from the “new look” (…snigger…) Kwik Save. Whether or not anyone will notice this in mind of the recent tide of depraved scum filling the village, we don’t know, but we fear the worst. We asked Zen for comment and they said “…have you tried imbibing your own micturation, it’s very good for you and completely free…”, whilst Sage asked us if we’d “…tried an organic flapjack…”.

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