Shock Sausage News

The Moseley Traders Association regret to announce that item two on next week’s meeting agenda, “Turning Meat Into Gold”, has had to be cancelled.  The take no prisoners expose of the thriving Birmingham street food scene was set to reveal how anyone with a pound of sausages and some baps can literally print money. Unfortunately Simon Dunmore, the inventor of hotdogs with mince, has been detained for nine years after accidentally importing a weight of MDMA from Holland.

 

The Chair of the Moseley Traders Association told us “This is very disappointing, as a fan of caravans, quality meat and MDMA I was keen to find out the secret to Simon’s success. Instead Mr Nima will once again explain to us how if you sell things that people want it just seems to work.”

A spokesperson for the Prince of Wales said “Does anyone want to buy a caravan? Go on, twenty million quid and it’s yours. It smells of chips a bit but….. Please take it, Keith will only make us convert it into something outlandish like an opium den if it stays here.”

Our only regret is that we never got round to trying those spicy sausages.