You’d think that Moseley was more than accustomed to winning ways after knocking back Britain in Bloom trophies like they were sweet heroin but in the last few days there has been a definite feeling that we are finally alive. That’s because we’ve won something. We’re not entirely sure what we’ve won but we are quite sure that we’ve won something.

Over the weekend it was announced by the Sunday Times that Moseley is officially the best place to live. Which surprised many of us as nobody seems to remember entering that competition.

A hastily arranged press conference by the Moseley Forum told us “We’re delighted that we’ve won this coveted award but we’d like to take this opportunity to warn people that now isn’t the time to get too excited. We all remember 1986 when we won the prize for the best urban area with a B13 postcode. That turned out to be a man trying to con us out of £100. We’re not letting that happen again. We should know more about what we’ve won when Geoff gets back from Weston. We understand he knows someone that subscribes to the Sunday Times and they might be able to tell us what it says. He went down there for the weekend as the weather was quite nice on Saturday”.

A spokesperson for Harborne Neighbourhood Forum told us “You’re shitting me aren’t you?”

We’d like to point out that we’re as pleased as anyone to find out that all we really wanted was approbation from the Murdoch press.