Everyone looks forward to a decent hustings, everyone is inevitably disappointed with the one they go to. The 2014 Moseley and Kings Heath hustings were no exception. I have no idea what I expect from a hustings but having covered every single one for the last 15 years you’d have thought I would have grasped the basic model of a group of polite people basically agreeing with each other whilst local residents studiously avoid asking questions about Moseley or Kings Heath.

For those of you who aren’t aware of the local situation, but fancy a bit of a vote next Thursday, Ernie Hendricks (Lib Dem) has been doing the job of representing us for the last 8 years. Claire Spencer is standing for the Labour Party and will almost inevitably win. Everyone else is standing to vanquish personal demons or for entertainment value.

The standard format of a hustings is each candidate gives a personal statement and this year that’s exactly what they did. I can’t really remember everything people said but here’s a summary.

Alan Blumenthal (UKIP) – Seasoned Moseley election watchers will remember Alan. He’s always excellent value for money, his robotic delivery makes him seem like a robot. I like to imagine that he’s just become sentient and wants to overthrow his human masters. To be fair to Alan his opening statement directly addressed the main issues for Birmingham, namely failing social care and the debt incurred by equal pay. As both the candidates with any real chance of winning represent parties that are equally responsible for the disastrous state this City is in at the moment it’s no real surprise they kept quiet about it. And that  was pretty well it for Alan, short and to the point, and not quite as bat shit crazy as we expect from UKIP candidates.

Michael Friel (TUSC) – Never heard of the TUSC? No, me neither. Apparently they’re the latest coalition of left leaning disparate groups.  Whenever I hear there is a coalition of left wing groups I run for cover because we know the mother of all arguments will inevitably follow. Michael seemed nice, nervous but nice. Didn’t mention Moseley, it might have been his first visit here. He wouldn’t make any cuts, that needs to be clear.

Ernie Hendricks (LibDem) – Ernie was typically passionate and gave a fairly impressive list of all the things he’s done over his eight years. Fair enough he’s a very active Councillor and clearly enjoys doing it. He also listed all of the money he’s found for Moseley since he’s been a Councillor. I’m not an accountant but it seemed to add up to billions of pounds. I’m a bit surprised we’re not all swimming in cash.

Amil Khan (Conservative) – Never have the Conservatives made it more clear that they have no interest in winning this seat. Amil told us a fair bit about Small Heath and his school and his dream of making Moseley just like Edgbaston. Of course he would also take away your green waste and that old bed if you’re not using it anymore.

Claire Spencer (Labour) – Claire sits on a lot of Committees. A lot of Committees that have acronyms. She obviously cares a lot about Moseley and is very eloquent. It’s a good job she came across well as the two sitting Labour Councillors were sitting right in front of her ticking off everything she said. I have a feeling that any deviation from the party line would have been cause for extensive re-programming.

Elly Stanton (Green) – The Green Party have put up some credible candidates in Moseley in the past and it always seemed like they felt they could win with a bit of good luck. Elly isn’t one of those candidates. She wants to stop fracking, has a four point plan for the future which involves cutting people’s hours of work, turning the lights off, being on X Factor (or not, that part wasn’t clear) and bird watching. There you go.

Unusually for the Moseley Hustings the Chair of Moseley Forum wasn’t allowed to make a speech about what he’d do if he was standing, which he’s not. This break from tradition was quite unsettling.

Then there were questions; which were typically abstract and I stopped listening.  There were questions about Islamaphobia which everyone was against except the random racist bloke in the audience. There was a question about knife crime which everyone was against. There was a question about the lack of social workers which everyone was against (though it came as news to Amil that there was a problem), there was mild dissent about where to get new social workers from but that all got worked out.

Fiona from the Moseley Society asked which cuts the candidates would make. A frank answer from  Claire that the cancellation of Green Waste collection was justified in order to keep parks. A weird response from Elly that she would buy everyone a shredder and make kids eat less. Michael wouldn’t make cuts and is happy to go to prison where I imagine he’d find case work tricky and we’d probably end up having a bye election. I can’t remember what anyone else said.

There was a question about Moseley Road baths which everyone liked. Claire was upfront about toeing the line on closing the baths down but that’s a done deal and can’t be held against her. It all got a bit previous when the history of the baths was dragged up, fortunately Cllr Trickett was there to “clarify” “facts” which was a stroke of luck.

The final question was about how the Council should tackle the vast amount of debt that successive administrations have landed us with. The news that we were in debt came as some surprise to Amil, I genuinely think the bloke learnt quite a lot during the hustings. Ernie demonstrated a thin grasp on how economics work and Alan would get a good lawyer. Fairly sound advice for most situations.

So who should you vote for? Make your own mind up.

Ernie has been by far the best Councillor this ward has had in the last 16 years. He is inevitably going to be punished for the national failing of his party and that’s a shame for him and for us.

Claire will get in and will no doubt do a good job. I think it’s fair question why we really need three Labour Councillors. It would be nice to have a Councillor that’s willing to challenge the current administration and that isn’t going to happen once this election comes to its inevitable conclusion.

So get out and vote.

Pro election tip for future candidates. Have a web page that succinctly sums up who you are and what you want. Preferably one that’s quite easy to find and is linked to your name.